Flomance
"Flomance" is the eighth episode of Plants vs. Zombies on Steam Train. Quotes Barry: I’m really hot and sweating but I’m still gonna wrap myself in a blanket. Arin: Why are you hot and sweating? Suzy: Why? Arin: What the fuck is wrong with you? Running laps? Barry: I’m going crazy over here! Arin: I agree. Are you Crazy Dave? Barry: If I stop talking, I will fall asleep. Arin: Alright, go for it. Barry: It’s like the movie Speed, but really boring. and Suzy laugh Arin: Keanu Reeves gets in your body and he’s like “no! Don’t stop talking! If you don’t stop talking, you’ll go to sleep!” Later Arin: Okay, here’s a real story of Blowjob Snake: everyone was tired in bed. Don’t get any ideas. Suzy: We were all sharing a room. Arin: We were all sharing a bed. Jo- uh… There’s a thing on the ceiling. Barry: Who’s “we”? Arin: Suzy, Barry, Danny... Suzy: And you. Arin: Arin Hanson, creator of such content. Barry: And when were we? Arin: 1870. Dancing Zombie appears on the screen Suzy: No! Not you! a Doom-shroom to kill the Dancing Zombie, amongst many others Arin: I was. laughter Suzy: No I’m sorry, I was talking to the Disco Zombie. Dancing Zombie appears on the screen Arin: Disco Zombie was there too. Barry: Dang! That sounds crazy! Arin: Anyway, there was a shadow of a stick on the ceiling, I don’t remember what it was. Barry: It was a ceiling fan. How do you not remember half of the love story? Arin: It was a ceiling fan, and then Suzy made like a snake face with her hand like a shadow puppet, and she made the snake eat the shadow of the ceiling fan and it was funny ‘cause it looked like it was giving the ceiling fan a blowjob. We call it Blowjob Snake. a conversation about preferences for dark chocolate Arin: Oh my God, the world is spinning right now. Barry: Literally? Suzy: Fig Newtons are so good! Arin: No, well yes, obviously, depends… Barry: Yeah, I guess yeah. Arin: Well depends where you are relative in space. Did you know that light is a constant? Barry: Yeah, "c". Arin: Speed of light is a constant. Barry: Yeah, "c". Arin: But that's how we can measure distances in space: because of light. Barry: That's what a light year is: distance. Arin: Isn't that crazy? Barry: I mean, it's pretty rad. Arin: If space is nothingness, then how do we compare speeds other than to comparing planets, but how speed they fast each other? laughter Suzy: Can you say that again? laughter Arin: Okay... Suzy: You're making yourself look bad. Arin: laughing Okay, if two objects are moving, then how do you know this one is moving at the same speed as that one and they're going like one mile an hour? How do you not know that? Because of light. Barry: laughing "How do you not know that?" It's like strangely argumentative. Suzy: "How do you not know that?" Barry: Like if they're going one mile an hour how do you not know that? It's fuckin' obvious right? Arin: laughing Okay… Suzy: You're being so goofy right now. Later Arin: Light is going as a constant... Suzy: the video Nobody's gonna enjoy this. Arin: ...So we can compare speeds of objects and bodies in space to light and that's how we know. has advanced to the pool levels Arin: If you had $7, what would you do with it? Suzy: Uh, I would go to the dollar store and buy some candy. Arin: Alright, Barry, If you had $700, what would you do? Suzy: Oh, $700, wait you gave me $7? Arin: No, I gave you $7. Barry: I would give Suzy $7 and not tell her that I have $693 left. Arin: Okay, Suzy, $7000, what would you do? Suzy: Uhh, I would take you guys to Disney World again. Arin: Alright, Barry, $70,000, what would you do? Barry: $70,000? Arin: $70,000. Barry: I’d probably invest in some $7,000. Arin: Suzy, $700,000, what would you do? Suzy: Hm, I’d buy us all houses. Arin: That’s some pretty cheap houses. Barry: Yeah. Fuck you Suzy. Arin: Unless you’re living in like, Idaho. Suzy: Wait. Yeah. I would move all of us to Idaho and buy us houses. Barry: Oh damn. Thanks Suzy. Arin: Barry, $7 million what would you do? Suzy: You’re welcome. Barry: Uhh. Buy a pack of gum. Arin: Barry, $70 million what would you do? Suzy: Uhh. Buy Obama. Barry: Alabama? Suzy: accent I’d buy Alabama. Arin: Barry, $700 million what would you do? Barry: I would round up all the people who are willing to work for cheap, and I would have everyone stand in a circle and hold hands, and hum as loudly as they could, and then have like a single hedgehog in the middle and just watch what happens. Suzy: That sounds like that happened on The Grinch. Barry: I mean, I just want to science it, you know? See what happens. Arin: $7 billion Suzy, what would you do? zombie eats her Peashooter Suzy: Fuckin’ don’t.. Don’t eat my shit! Arin: That’s a bad use of money. $70 billion what would you do Barry? Barry: $70 billion? I would make a bigger circle out of more people, and put three hedgehogs, two chipmunks, and a gopher in the middle and just see what science is up. Arin: You’re going over-budget. Suzy… Suzy: Yes. laughter Barry: You’re not saying you’re not counting the deflation that would take place with everyone being in one place. Arin: Suzy, $700 billion what would you do? Suzy: I would go to space. Arin: Well… Barry, $7 trillion what would you do? Barry: I’d go into space, right? And I’d get everyone into a sphere in the low-gravity environment, I’d be able to get everyone arranged in a sphere like an Ender’s Game-type formation. And then in the middle, in like, tiny little spacesuits, would be various woodland critters of the fuzzy variety, and we would beam radio particles at each other-- Arin: Suzy, $70 trillion what would you do? Suzy: Uhh. Geez, is that all the money in the world? Arin: It’s more. Barry: Is it? Arin: $70 trillion? Barry: Yeah. Suzy: I would pay a scientist to make a time machine. Arin: That’s already been done. Barry: I’m gonna Google how much money is there in the world. Arin: How much money is there in the world, Google? Siri… Siri Siri, how much money is there in the world ever? pause Hurry up. laughter Suzy: her plant defense I fucked up. This one’s getting all sloppy, I’m getting tired. Arin: Siri, hurry the fuck up! Siri: beeps I found 15 ATMs. Tap the one you are looking for. Barry: What?! Arin: Siri, you are out of your goddamn mind. beeps Barry: Siri, slow-ride. beeps Siri: That doesn’t sound good. Arin: What do you mean it doesn’t sound.. It sounds fucking great! Barry: Suzy, Siri, this… Okay stop. Suzy: Siri is broken. Barry: What were we googling? I already forgot. Arin: How much money is there ever in the world? Barry: How much money, okay. beeps Barry: How much money? beeps laughter External links * Category:Arin, Suzy and Barry Episodes Category:Plants vs. Zombies Episodes Category:Steam Train Episodes